Monday, January 17, 2011


Happy Monday.
I planned to send an email to my dean again this morning but ended up with seeing photos that boyfriend gave me last weekend. I love his pictures and to be honest i tend to see those pictures again and again. If only i could put all our pictures in handphone, i will put them all hehehe. Anyway, i'm going back to Jakarta on Friday after spending a month in Manado. I had great times here, especially with him. We met, we talked, we cuddle (thank God i have a big boyfriend. haha!), we watched movie, we cook and eat together, we fought. Ah, the latter was an annoying one. Can i blame pms? hahaha.. I realized that we are a new couple, and we're about to begin our (real) long distance relationship. I have no idea when will i meet him again and sometime when i think about it i got mad. Not because i don't trust him or trust my self. Maybe the fact that i won't meet him in quite long time and the distance between us are killing me.

That's why i feel so random these days. I lost my appetite. Another thing that annoyed him. I'm sorry. But this childish side in me who always want to get what her wants is shown up now. Life has treaten me so well the last 30 days. Christmas, our first real date, birthday, New Year, his parents' anniversary, family gathering, yeah all good days. I. just. want. more. But now i felt a bit lost. I do plan my future but somehow i feel confused. Thesis, which suppose to be the first thing in my mind doesn't attract me. Family, my supporters, i know they love me, but they dissapointed me lately. Maybe it's better for me to fly back to Jakarta. I'll get back my me-time, rethink about things i should do. Sort of self-relief thing. Unfortunately, after i get my self relief, i can't fly back to Manado, but have to start my research. Huhuhu. I'd like to come to Manado anytime soon. How i wish Jakarta-Manado is like Jakarta-Bandung, so i'll be home every weekend after research. sigh.

See, how random me today. Sorry for this random post. Please crossing your fingers and pray for my better mood. I really want to have good days before leaving this town, and i won't let this bad mood ruins it. Huff. Hey, mood booster, where are you?

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