Friday, August 14, 2009

the past three years

I spent last night with cried all night long. Mom went to Manado today, so here i am, alone again in Jakarta, until i met friends next Monday or Tuesday. I felt so sad these 2 days. I cried so long, in my sleep positon, thought about everything. I am tired actually, after posting it, i will try to sleep, or i'll have fever. Well, actually not just because of being lonely i cried, but happiness, letting go, missing, and so on. It such a complicated feeling. And poor me, i still have to post from handphone due to i still don't have laptop by my side. But, the aim post isn't my sadness, but about my lovely inang.

She died on this date, August 14, three years ago. While me and mama in taxi after went to Grand Indonesia for having lunch, i remembered about inang suddenly. I missed her, i have to admit it. And the night, i read something so damn touchful about being mom-daughter, and i remembered mom and inang. I hope i can have a good relationship with mom. I realized i got less affection from mom (as Batakness mother), but i want to make it grower. I loved her. Especially in my years in Jakarta. I always wait for her call, her food, her apperance, her touch, her taste (hehehe, girl stuff), her gossip, her wardrobe (my mom is beautiful,she always looks good) etc. Whuah, i have to edit this blog i guess. I cried while writing, so i have to stop it. I'd better cry again, i can't help, i am so sad today. God bless people.

Finally i ended that day with cried. I have lunch at 3pm, almost faint and didn't have dinner. I felt so much lonely, so much regret of many things, between mom and him. Inang also came to my thought, i prayed for her and our whole family. Knowing that our grandparents always prayed for us from above sometime heal my worries. But, for that day,it helped nothing. I cried from morning up to dawn, because of 2 stupid persons' miscall.

The good thing i did on that day was, cleaned up my room and arranged my wardrobe. And also testing my newest dresses, shoes, shirts and bags and make them all matching! Hahaha, i have many of them now. And i just don't know where to put all of them! It just full in my wardrobes hehe.. So, i seperated some of my 'baju rumah' to give to Desi's maid, maybe on Monday. But, all my 'baju keluar' still on my wardrobe, i'll think later to give some.

And bang Ferdy made my night. With his silly chat, he made me laugh, a loud one and first of that day. How he made joke about words starts from G. I told it to Thio straightly, he laughed too hehehe. I'll go to Thio's home tomorrow (Saturday) with Desipus after met my sister in Jco. Saturday turns better actually :)

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